Don’t miss an episode of our podcast, Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors. Tune in on:
Now, here’s today’s article:
Some call George Kinder (rhymes with tinder) the “father of life planning.” He is a financial planner, author, and pioneer in integrating personal values and life goals into financial planning.
Although Kinder’s work is diverse and profound, he’s best known for three deceptively simple questions. Simple, but powerful.
These three questions were designed to get people thinking beyond money and into what really matters in their lives. They are:
Question 1: “Imagine you are financially secure. You have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself dream.”
Question 2: “Now imagine you visit your doctor who tells you that you have 5–10 years left to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life? How will you live out your remaining years?”
Question 3: “Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you have just 24 hours left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?”
Question 1 removes money as a constraint. It’s about uncovering values and desires.
Question 2 adds mortality into the mix. Time becomes limited, which sharpens our priorities.
Question 3 hits hardest. It forces reflection on regrets, identity, and meaning.
The progression is deliberate. It’s a funnel from broad wishes down to life’s essential truths.
- Dreams (no constraints).
- Priorities (limited time).
- Regrets (mortality now).
“I Read Each and Every One”
That’s what someone wrote in this ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ podcast review…
My free weekly newsletter helps busy professionals and retirees avoid costly mistakes and grow lasting wealth through retirement.
Join 4000+ subscribers, 100% free.
Sign up here:
When I go through the exercise, my mind wanders to:
Question 1 – Values and Desires
“Imagine you are financially secure. You have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself dream.”
I would focus on more “free time” to spend with people I care about.
I don’t need to see the Sistine Chapel or climb Mt. Everest. Those things might be neat, but I don’t feel a desire to check those boxes.
I’d rather climb a hill in the Adirondacks with my family and friends, settle into a nice dinner and a cozy fire. Share some stories. Get a good night’s sleep. Wake up to hot coffee on a cold morning.
I would try for a feeling that my money is creating bonding experiences for those in my life OR going to causes I really care about.
Question 2 – Priorities and Eventual Mortality
“Now imagine you visit your doctor who tells you that you have 5–10 years left to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life? How will you live out your remaining years?”
This 5 to 10 year window funnels my mind to one topic: my daughter and my wife. If I had less than 10 years to live, everything would revolve (even more than it already does) around spending time and showering love on them.
As I think more, my secondary focus would be ensuring they would be ok after I am gone. Both emotionally and financially.
The financial side…yep, you want a financial plan, estate plan, reasonable life insurance, etc.
On the emotional side, I would want to instill that Gandalfian quote:
“End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take.”
(Sidenote…I’ve been running more lately to train for a half-marathon, and listening to an e-book of The Fellowship of the Ring as I do. I’m just in a Lord of the Rings mood.)
“I Read Each and Every One”
That’s what someone wrote in this ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ podcast review…
My free weekly newsletter helps busy professionals and retirees avoid costly mistakes and grow lasting wealth through retirement.
Join 4000+ subscribers, 100% free.
Sign up here:
Question 3 – Regrets, Identity, and Meaning
“Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you have just 24 hours left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?”
What did I miss? Well. What a unique feeling to feel a universe of love for your child, but knowing they’ll have no memories of you. That’s hard.
I’ll miss growing old together with my wife. Another gut punch. It’s hard to type these words.
As for regrets of past decisions, or who I didn’t get to be and didn’t get to do…I’m more content than I thought I’d be. I think back to my conversation with Jordan Grumet about the regrets of the dying.
As I’ve grown older, I feel that I’ve lived a life increasingly true to myself, rather than making decisions that others expected of me. I’m not perfect, but I’m progressing. I feel content about that.
I also know I have a tendency to bottle up my feelings, to the detriment of myself and those around me. But I’m working on it, so I feel some contentment there.
Have You Answered George Kinder’s Three Questions?
If you devote 15 minutes to George Kinder’s three questions, you might surprise yourself. Certain feelings and longings and regrets will jump to the front of your mind. Some thoughts that you anticipated, but others that might catch you off guard.
It’s important to think beyond money into what really matters in your life.
Now – go decide what to do with the time that is given to you.
Thank you for reading! Here are three quick notes for you:
First – If you enjoyed this article, join 1000’s of subscribers who read Jesse’s free weekly email, where he send you links to the smartest financial content I find online every week. 100% free, unsubscribe anytime.
Second – Jesse’s podcast “Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors” has grown ~10x over the past couple years, now helping ~10,000 people per month. Tune in and check it out.
Last – Jesse works full-time for a fiduciary wealth management firm in Upstate NY. Jesse and his colleagues help families solve the expensive problems he writes and podcasts about. Schedule a free call with Jesse to see if you’re a good fit for his practice.
We’ll talk to you soon!